The Vagaries of Banking

New job, new location, that means a new bank account.  Not a difficult concept or, usually, task.  However (I find myself using that word a lot these days), things are a bit trickier in the UAE than they are in the States. 

In order to get a bank account I first need to get a residency visa from the Ministry of Immigration and Naturalization.  That wasn't terribly difficult because the college handled that part for me.  Here I go, with my visa copy, passport copy, and cash to deposit into the account.  Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho off to the bank I go.

Upon arrival I discover that in order to open an account I need a letter stating that I do, in fact, have a job that will pay me.  I hand the man the letter I was given by the school.  He looks at it and says, "Oh, it's in Arabic.  I will be right back."  He has his colleague read the letter and returns.  "I'm so sorry, you need a letter that states your salary and length of contract."  I thought the lettter had all that information, but, as you know, I can not read Arabic.  Oh well, Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, off to school I go.

I request a letter stating that information to be written in English.  Two days later, I get it!  Woot!  Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, off to the bank I go!

I get to the bank, provide him with the letter and he is more than happy to open my account.   I also need a  credit card to cover final expenses of shipping stuff here (pets included).  He says that I need to wait for three months to confirm that I do, in fact, have employment with the college.  (I thought the first, and second letters confirmed that.  Silly me.)

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, its back to school I go.  I request the "letter of confirmation" from the HR department.  Remember that this letter is FOR the bank FROM the school confirming that I am employed.  Sounds simple enough.  Two days later, I get an email telling me that I need a letter FROM the BANK FOR the SCHOOL.  This letter is to confirm that I do, in fact, have a bank account with the bank that they previously gave me a letter to confirm that I am employed and can open an account.

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho back to the bloody bank I go.  I see the man who opened my account and tell him that I now need a letter FROM him TO them.  He looks perplexed (How do you think I feel?)  He gives me copies of all the information that I filled out to open the account, after verification from the college.  I need to take this to HR in order for them to get me that "letter of confirmation" that is, thus far, unconfirmed.

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, back to the bloody school I go.  I turn in the copies.  Things are grand.  I need to wait to days to have the papers processed.  Do I see the light at the end of the tunnel?

Once the paper is processed, I can access my information online to request a letter that I thought I had in order to open an account that I needed employment confirmation for to get a card that requires not only confirmation of employment, but also confirmation of an account that was confirmed prior.  Geez, I don't even know what I just said.

So now I wait for the paper work to be loaded to the HR system.

Remember that bank account that I have opened?  It doesn't require a deposit.  I have an account, in which there is no money. 

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho its off to the looney bin I go...

Again, as they say:  Inshalla